Relapsed Hodgkin’s Lymphoma After Remission [Part 2]

[ See Part 1 HERE ]

My blinders went up and I went again into Stepford Mode. “Everything is totally fine” I would repeat over and over to myself, my friends and family when they would look at me with sorrowful eyes. This is a problem I talk about a little more HERE.

Going to MD Anderson helped ease my fears knowing I’d be treated by the worlds foremost lymphoma specialists. I felt so incredibly special to have gotten an appointment… Who gets excited about going to an oncologist? THIS GIRL. MD Anderson is like Disneyland if Disneyland were only for cancer patients and survivors and everyone who works at this twisted theme park are there only to help them. It’s pretty much the happiest place where everyone has cancer- I love everything about MD Anderson and what they do and who they are. It’s a hospital on mission, and I dig that.

I got an appointment four days after I was referred and everyone fought hard to get my scans and tests there also. We were told that I’d need to clear the entire week for tests, scans and procedures and boy was that true. My husband, my amazing husband took the week off (a treasured and rare thing during medical residency) and sat with me during the sometimes 5 hour wait for each appointment. It’s a good thing I quit my day job, cancer is a day job in itself.

Tuesday was my appointment with my oncologist. We got to the 12:30 appointment at 10:30 and saw my sweet doctor at 4pm. There were hours we assumed we had been forgotten back in the exam room. Why oh why did I not bring a magazine or IPad? This is a mistake I didn’t make again. The 4 sentences I just wrote about the 6 hour wait for my oncologist to tell me I might not make it to my next birthday deserve more than 4 sentences. I’ll leave it at that.

Dr. Fowler greeted us with such joy and also such concern. He made certain to explain to my husband and I the true severity of my new disease and the treatment it would require. We all cried.

Hodgkin’s Lymphoma that relapses prior to 6 after treatment is its own animal.

He described several weeks of horrible inpatient salvage chemo before I would get a stem cell transplant. Basically, salvage chemo means what it sounds like “nothing else worked so let’s throw in the big scary guns.” My entire immune system would be wiped out and reconstituted with my own stem cells while I was in the hospital, two hours away from my husband (working 90 hours a week) and baby while countless more from our families and support network. We all cried again. I remember a period of time where Dr. Fowler began to explain and draw pictures like he would for any patient, he paused threw his pen down and said “What am I doing, you already know this, I’m going to be honest with you…this isn’t good”

18 Replies to “Relapsed Hodgkin’s Lymphoma After Remission [Part 2]”

  1. GOD . . . only GOD!! Your faith and fortitude are inspiring!

    1. It’s all HIM! Praise the Lord

  2. Maggie Jones says: Reply

    When I think of special people in my life you always rise to the top. You have been an inspiration to me
    And your Son Solomon is the true joy of my life. Needless to say I also love Oscar.

    1. I love YOU! You have my heart my love! My gram!

  3. Kathy Goodson says: Reply

    My heart goes out to you. You are an incredibly courageous woman…and remember, we are being courageous when we really feel like we have no courage at all yet we persevere. Your honesty in your writing is beautiful. I am praying for you.

    1. Thank you so much Kathy!! You’re so so sweet. And that is so so true.

  4. Dear Abby, your positivity, strength and resilience are heartwarming and inspiring. Your faith clearly guides and comforts you. May this be the end of your fear and suffering. You have more than proved your worthiness to live a happy, healthy and cancer-free life henceforth. Thank you for sharing your story – I know it can’t be easy to relive and write.
    Lots of love
    Nikki x

    1. Oh Nikki that is so true and so sweet. If only I could get over this silly fear. I think I can 😉 lots of love right back

  5. God is so good all the time. You are a true inspiration for all of us. Your faith and positivity is a reminder of Him being in charge, and we follow His plan for us even when we are waling into blind.
    I love you and your sweet little family.

    1. He is in charge absolutely! And all the things we go through are for His good and His glory 😉 I have to tell myself that all the time!

  6. My heart aches, but my prayers are lifted. Let me know when you want a meal schedule started, and if there is anything else I can do to help organize anything to take care of the menial so you can concentrate on the larger matters.

    1. Carol! No need to worry! This is just me finally writing about what happened 6 months ago!

  7. Lindsey S Keenum says: Reply

    😍

    1. hugs!!

  8. You started following me on Insta and now I’ve read a few of your posts and holy smokes batman you are FIERCE LADY! New role model? Yup. Sending you love and prayers!!!
    Allie
    modbroadco.com

    1. Omg I just love you! You are more fierce! Thanks for the love cutie

  9. Rhonda Trevino says: Reply

    I found your blog while searching for information for my daughter. She is 31 and underwent the Chemo all last year for Hodgkins. and Now 4 months after remission is it back and now near her heart. I just WISH she could go to MDAnderson. Her Insurance wont approve for it. This is a nightmear all over again. I am her primary care. She has a 7 & 8 year old boys that she has every other week. I am trying to wrap my head around the treatment this time. Saying she has to be hospitalized every 3rd week and we have to meet the the Bone Marrow transplant Dr. I feel Defeated and we havent even started yet.

    1. I’m so so sorry to hear this. How is she doing now? Praying for her and you and your whole family

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