Relapsed Hodgkin’s Lymphoma after Remission [Part 1]

Having cancer was horrible enough. Relapsing 3 months after you finished chemo was even worse.

The lumps that appeared behind my right ear started as an itchy annoyance on Thursday and by Monday they were Klingon sized and quite concerning. My husband who usually has to steer me away from my hypochondriacal (did I just make that word up?) tendencies actually agreed that I should let my oncologist know.

I have an insane access to healthcare because I am a doctor (which may or may not be why The Lord planned medical school in my life?) so I was scheduled for early surgery 24 hours later. Terrified, I drove myself to the hospital early that morning…. the casualty of two married residents is sometimes having to do big stuff alone. Both having crazy schedules we had to put our jobs and kid first over my (minor) surgery. I hoped for the best, but waited for the worst.

Day turned into night and I went back to work the following morning. Conveniently I was on my “medicine” month, which for most residents means a grueling inpatient hospital medicine service, and for us that was absolutely the truth. By the end of my 13 hour shift that Wednesday I got a call from my oncologist and my heart stopped. I knew what he was getting at with the small talk and asking if I could “talk on the phone,” then if I was sitting down. JUST SAY IT, I thought. Seriously…. I know what you’re going to say- spit it out.

“It’s cancer…it’s back” and I learned that when Hodgkin’s Lymphoma relapses before 6 months of finishing chemo therapy, it’s a Big. Bad. Deal.I needed to start treatment immediately due to the progressiveness of the disease. I was refereed to MD Anderson Cancer Center and had an appointment 30 days later. I begged and plead with the receptionist to help me get In earlier and by miraculous happenstance I scored an appointment 4 days later. The kicker was: the cytopathologist (basically a super smart specialized pathologist) at my hospital as well as 6 other pathologists from around Louisiana couldn’t subtype my cancer. Basically that means the we’re saying “hey girl, your cancer is back, but we can’t figure out exactly what type it is.” So they left that to the big guns at MD Anderson’s path lab.

It was my job to get my actual lymph node, pathology slides as well as all of my reports, digital copies of my scans, my original pathology slides to MDA as a prerequisite to my appointment. A big feat but praise the Lord I got it done.

When you are diagnosed with cancer, the initial moments feel like life in slow motion, stuck in a horrible sea of quick sand. Can you feel me at all? When I initially got the news the first time, time stood still…but I couldn’t move. I remember sitting alone in my dark bedroom panicking in disbelief. The next time you are diagnosed with cancer is a little different. Having cancer left me riddled with an underlying sense of fear of its return and when I relapsed, it’s like my fear said “told you so.” I went into panic stricken action mode.

It was on.

7 Replies to “Relapsed Hodgkin’s Lymphoma after Remission [Part 1]”

  1. I really enjoyed reading this post about your story!

    1. Really!? Thanks so much that makes me so happy!!!

    2. Omg Mariah! Thank you so much sweet girl! It’s hard for me as you probably know to get it out there!

  2. Melisa Reiff says: Reply

    So here I am blog stalking you, I swear I’m not usually this creepy! But I’m gearing up for a stem cell transplant at MDA and going through treatment now for my relapsed Hodgkin’s lymphoma. So glad I found your page to read about your experience and see how you’ve handled all of this with a smile on your face!

    1. omg no way are you kidding me?? I hope you are doing so well now. Are you in the Lymphomies FB group?? Friend me on FB Id love to hear more about your story! Thinking of you sweet girl!

    2. Omg I love you!? How are you doing now?? So sorry I’m just seeing this!

  3. […] Relapse Part 1 // Relapse Part 2. While waiting about 6 hours to see my angel oncologist, “Joe the PA” popped into my exam room. Fresh out of school Joe asked questions and treated me like I had zero medical knowledge, even knowing I was a physician. He wasn’t my doctors regular PA but rather he seemed to be floating and filling in where needed. I wish you could have been there. This was a quite interesting set of several interchanges with “Joe the PA.” […]

Leave a Reply